Federal Government Funds Anti-Sex Game

Don’t worry parents, the federal government and video games will take it from here.  It was recently announced that the federal government is funding a project that will help teenage girls resist peer pressure to have sex before they’re ready. The project comes in the form of a social simulator, and will place players in the shoes of an average teenage girl at a mall, movie theater, and other popular teen hangouts, resisting an onslaught of boys out to steal their innocence.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely fair. But you get the idea…

The game, which has yet to be given a name, is being developed by the University of Central Florida. The project totes a development cost of just over $434,000, every cent of which is being picked up by the White House, and is expected to release sometime next year.

Commenting on the gameplay, professor Anne Norris, who is heavily involved in the project, said “A boy similar in age might approach the person playing the game and ask her to make out, or there might be some sexual innuendo.”

It’s a sad day indeed when the government thinks that it can do a better job parenting the nation’s youth than its parents. But at least we can take heart in knowing that no big name, self-respecting developers were willing to defile the industry by building this sad excuse for a game. University of Central Florida, you should be ashamed of yourself.

There goes one more support beam in the crumbling structure that is the American family, along with half a million dollars that the government could have used for something important, like more economic stimulus programs or buying Hostess snack pies for the entire eastern seaboard.