Left 4 Dead 2’s Zombie Death Toll: 28,981,249,043

“My mother always told me someday you’ll be good at somethin’. Who’d have guessed that somethin’ would be zombie killin’,” says Tallahassee in the film Zombieland. It’s an appropriate quote given just how many of us are apparently really, really bloody good at killing zombies.

Valve announced on Thursday that gamers had killed nearly 29 billion zombies in the two months since Left 4 Dead 2‘s release. How good is that? Well, that’s good enough to have killed all the zombies in the world 4 times over. And these aren’t just normal zombies we’re talking about. Yes, some of them are your garden variety stupid, shambling, decaying messes but others are seriously messed up freaks like the Smoker, the Boomer and of course, the Tank.

Valve also put together some interesting factoids just in case the sheer number is beyond your grasp:

  • The entire population of the planet has been zombified and killed 4.26 times.
  • Assuming the average zombie height is 6 feet, if you stacked them end to end they would circle the globe 1,322 times.
  • If you placed 28,981,249,043 rulers end to end, they would reach 28,981,249,043 feet in the sky.

Long story short: we’ve killed. A lot. There’s blood on all of our hands. So what’s left to do?

Well, as Shaun from Shaun of the Dead would say, “Take car. Go to Mum’s. Kill Phil – ‘Sorry, Phil’ – grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?”